Service in Solitude

          "Whosoever delights in solitude is either a wild beast or a god..."

Spring is here; the overcast skies sliced open with sun, rolling white clouds swallowed with grey and rain, the gentle breeze overtaken with gusts. It's a dichotomy of motivation and submission. While the past 4 months have been an invitation to hibernate, spring suggests that it's time to give that lifestyle up. There no longer seems reason to bunker or cozy up inside and just lay around, but then again, there has been great comfort in that type of solace. I am making really good friends with myself once again, sometimes venturing out on solo trips and experiences, but also just laying on the couch watching what I want to watch. Reading a couple of books at a time, and quickly starting another one. Tinkering and arranging around my apartment, trying to get the aesthetics right. And writing a whole lot. I've taken a pretty good leap back to recording thoughts and incidents, and I hope it leads to some more imaginative productions as well. 

Though I know I haven't been doing "nothing", I've been okay doing a lot of "nothing". That is, not going out, not joining in on social things. I haven't had this feeling or need to be busy, to be tied up. Social things will pop-up, and I find myself voluntarily turning them down. It's avoidance, certainly, but there has also been great peace and contentment. 

I have been rediscovering so much, and, dare I say, even starting to heal after spending the past 2-3 years in survival mode. I'm still surviving.